The Battle of People-Pleasing: 3 Keys to Overcoming the Fear of Man
As Christians, how does our fear of man’s judgment and rejection affect our relationship with God? Why do we struggle with the fear of living out our Christian purpose, and how does the Enemy exploit those fears? In this blog, we outline three ways to break the stronghold of intimidation to live out a fruitful Fear of God.
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The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.
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The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all those who practice it have a good understanding. His praise endures forever!
Fear of People
The “fear of the Lord” is often conflated as a grim reality that sparks horror and terror. However, as Scripture shares, the true meaning behind the phrase is discovering a deep reverence and awe of God. [READ MORE: What is the Fear of the Lord?]
Included in “the fear of the Lord” is a deliverance from the fear of people, including how it can control you. I invite you to consider some understandings that break the strongholds of intimidation for a believer.
Three Understandings for Breaking a Stronghold of Intimidation
1) “The Fear of Man” is a Paralyzing Trap
“The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe.” Proverbs 29:25
Solomon’s words here literally mean to lower a lure, such as a fishing lure, that leads to a trap. A big part of the effectiveness of this type of snare is that it’s hidden.
The “fear of man” can be a subtle force. Sometimes we’re controlled, and we don’t even realize it. That snare can hinder us from the freedom Christ intends us to live into. But how does “the fear of man” function as a snare?
How Does The Fear of Man Function as a Snare?
A) The Fear of Appearing Foolish
The Gospel may sound foolish to some people, right? We’re not only aware of that intuitively, but the Bible tells us that the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing.
As a believer, you are an ambassador of Jesus Christ. That ambassadorship puts a mission on your life. Our purpose is to love the Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength, which makes our mission to make disciples of Christ. We can’t do that apart from Christ.
B) The Fear of Rejection
As ambassadors, we have to recognize that we can struggle with the choice to pursue our mission. How do I share the Gospel with my friend, neighbor, or coworker?
We fear they may think we’re foolish, despite our awareness of the Gospel’s saving power. Our fear of foolishness is based on a fear of rejection.
C) The Fear of Not Being Able to Please People
However, that rejection is a form of people pleasing, and you cannot faithfully steward the Kingdom of God and be a people pleaser. It’s a trap of intimidation. The fear of man is manifested when you are afraid of confrontation and compromise your standards to settle the conflict. This fear of man is manifested when you value people’s opinions more than God’s Word.
“There is no sin so prevalent, so insidious, and so deep as the sin of fearing people more than we fear God.”
It is impossible to be God-centered when you are people-centered. I have seen people with great God-given giftedness shortcut their fruitfulness because they didn’t know how to win the battle of the fear of man.
The Enemy’s strategy is obvious when it comes to this.
Ensure you don’t understand the holiness of God and your need for the Gospel.
Ensure you don’t understand the empowerment of God’s grace and the Person of the Holy Spirit.
Ensure you don’t understand The Fear of the Lord.
When we recognize that the fear of man sets a paralyzing trap, the revelation also provides the antidote; the fear of God sets us up to be free from the fear of man.
2) The Fear of God Sets Us Free From the Fear of Man
“In God, you come up against something which is in every respect immeasurably superior to yourself. Unless you know God as that–you do not know God at all. As long as you are proud, you cannot know God. A proud person is always looking down on things and people, and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.” C.S. Lewis, author
When God’s people emerged from Egypt, they saw Him do great and mighty things. They also saw an outpouring manifestation of God’s judgment against an evil ruler and his nation. They witnessed the dedication to His people to deliver them as promised and the punishment for those who opposed Him.
Yet when they got to the Promised Land, Moses sent spies out, and all but two of them came and reported that there was no way they could claim the land. Despite God’s clear instructions to take the land, the spies chose to fear the presenting enemy.
That story raises a relevant question: Who or what controls you?
Are you controlled by a Sovereign God who has repeatedly demonstrated His power over the most powerful nation on earth at the time? Or will it be the people who seem so strong and influential in your sight and life?
Peter saw Jesus raised from the dead. He witnessed Jesus’ teaching with a wisdom that superseded human comprehension. Jesus always had not only the right answer but the eternal answer. He watched Jesus heal the sick and perform countless miracles, yet when a slave girl questioned Peter if he was part of Jesus’ company, he denied knowing Christ three times.
Who are you controlled by? The words of a slave girl or the Messiah?
“The remarkable thing about God is that when you fear God, you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God, you fear everything else.”
There is a sense where we can make a little “g” god out of what we fear. If you fear people’s opinions, that’s your god; that’s what is most important to you. If you fear peer pressure, that’s your god; that’s what is most important to you.
The fear of man can be characterized in many ways, but one of the ways that we experience that fear is through the subtle effects of what we would call being intimidated.
Most Christians battle intimidation at some level. However, most are battling its effects rather than its source. What dispels the fear of man is the reality of holding God in reverence, which will set you free.
“The root of intimidation is fear, and fear causes people to focus on themselves. Perfect love casts out fear because love puts the focus on God and others and denies self.” John Bevere, minister, and author
In this age, many people want to be discovered, but God is looking for people who want to be developed. You don’t have to be concerned with discovering yourself if you focus on being developed by God because everything will take care of itself.
“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1
When you focus on pleasing the Lord, you focus on loving and honoring people, even if they’re your enemy; you can trust God to take care of everything else. “The Fear of the Lord” is a reverence that sets you free from the fear of people.
3) Trust and Rest in the Cross of Christ
“The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe.” Proverbs 29:25
The enemy attacks with fear because it activates an expression of control that moves you out of trust.
Scripture tells us that one day all of us, including myself, will stand before the judgment seat of Christ, and one of the things that will happen, all that seems so important to us right now, will be undone by His glory and power. In the purity of His presence, it won’t matter what people think of us. All the good opinions won’t weigh an ounce, and all the disapproval won’t mean a thing.
Only His approval and acceptance will mean anything, and it will mean everything. And this is the amazing thing: because of the Gospel, because of what Christ has done for us, He will raise us, and we will see in His eyes that we are accepted. For Christians, on that day, our shame and nakedness will be covered by Christ’s righteousness like a robe.
Walking in the fear of the Lord will help us to see that now. Because of Christ, God accepts us; therefore, what more acceptance do we need? Because of Christ, God loves us; therefore, do we need anyone else’s love to be complete?
The power of the Gospel has set us free from the snare of fearing what people think, and we can love people rather than need their acceptance. We are freed from the constant inward gaze of self-consciousness and free to bend our gaze outward to see Christ and free to forget about ourselves in His presence.
All that is ours now through the Gospel.
A Holy Development
Peter may have denied Jesus three times, and in that moment, his heart was governed by the fear of man. However, we see from the rest of his story that Jesus forgave him. Years later, Peter had developed and matured in his faith, which led to him writing several letters that are now contained in the New Testament.
One of the churches he wrote to struggled with the same fear that he captured his soul the night of Christ’s arrest. The church was persecuted for their faith, a struggle Peter understood, so he wrote these words.
“’Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.’ But in your hearts, set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.” 1 Peter 3:14c-16
Isn’t it beautiful how not only God delivers us but then makes us an encouragement to others struggling similarly? How is God confronting you about your fear of what others have said? What areas of your life can you surrender to God’s development?
If God is pursuing you, respond to His call.
TL;DR
The fear of man is a paralyzing trap that can hinder our freedom in Christ.
Three key understandings to break this stronghold of intimidation:
Recognizing the fear of man as a snare
Understanding that the fear of God sets us free from the fear of man
Tusting and resting on the cross of Christ.
Focusing on pleasing the Lord frees us from the fear of people, and the power of the Gospel sets us free from fearing what others think and allows us to love people without needing their acceptance.
Related Reading
What is the Fear of the Lord? by Rev. Paul Lawler
What Does the Bible Say About Judging by Rev. Paul Lawler
Discover 5 Ways the Holy Spirit Helps Us by Bro. Chris Carter
