Dealing With Change
How do we say goodbye and accept change? How do we approach seasons of change that are happy or sad? What are some tips for finishing well?
We're all familiar with change, and few enjoy or even appreciate it. Change can arrive in a variety of ways. Some forms of change can be exciting, such as new jobs, friends, experiences, or grand life events like marriage. There's also difficult change, such as loss, grief, moving, or failed expectations. But it's important to talk about change, especially when it comes through the lens of the end of an era.
Entering times of change, especially difficult and sad change, can leave you feeling like you've been abandoned. It's almost as if the change was not from God. Scripture can instruct us to find His peace, grace, and mercy, but the emotions can be brutal. [READ MORE: Does God Want Me To Be Happy]
But as we see in Isaiah 54, Isaiah was exiled, invaded, and destroyed his country. So he cries out to God, pleading for His presence, to which God replies, "with deep compassion I will bring you back…with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you."
The Lord is always calling us to do more. So we can take heart that whether this change we feel is God's prompting or whether it feels like exile, the Lord has not abandoned us. On the contrary, He is calling us to more. He will continuously pursue us faithfully, even if it's in ways we don't understand.
How do we approach seasons of change?
1. Discernment
Not all of life's changes occur at our discretion. Instead, most changes are thrust upon us, regardless of our affections for a new life.
As those journeys begin, we enter into seasons of discernment. Similar to how we look at our calling in life, we can approach seasons of change through intercessions, such as asking for the Holy Spirit to guide our thoughts, prayers, and heart. No season of change should be approached without prayer and petition for wisdom.
It's important to remember that discernment is not a solo mission. It cannot be achieved by your stamina, strength, and understanding. Western idealizations portray the individual as the almighty and refuse to invite others into this process. Instead, wisdom can be inferred from trusted advisors or Holy resources.
Who are the people in your life that you can turn to in times of need?
Who offers Biblical encouragement that can reach your heart?
What parts of scripture can you turn to for peace and guidance?
2. Timing
Change rarely interrupts our life at the perfect time, as if there's such a thing. But when we view these events as interruptions, our perception is skewed toward "our story" rather than the Lord's story.
The Lord takes His time, but He's never late.
God's perspective of our story is much larger than we'll ever comprehend. He was likely planting seeds for our new beginnings long before we recognized them. Like a chess master, the plan will be in the right place long before the checkmate is called. When our advances and opportunities begin to fall away, we begin to see the path that God laid ahead of us. Those prayers of discernment begin to come to fruition as if God has opened a door and said, "Here you go."
3. Trust
Change can be difficult, especially in a place of great fruit. Relationships are wonderful, jobs are successful, and personal growth is excelling, but you begin to see the seeds of change.
"God is calling me to do what?!"
"How does He expect me to leave this success?"
"Why am I called to leave this relationship?"
Throughout scripture, we see God's call to leave situations that, on the outside, don't make much sense. Think about God's call for Noah to build an Ark. It's not unreasonable for any community member to question what he was up to. Little about that situation appeared logical. However, as read in Scripture, God was several steps ahead. [READ MORE: How to Understand the Old Testament]
Another verse that comes to mind is Deuteronomy 1:6-8.
"The Lord our God said to us at Horeb, 'You have stayed long enough at this mountain. Break camp and advance into the hill country of the Amorites; go to all the neighboring peoples in the Arabah, in the mountains, in the western foothills, in the Negev, and along the coast, to the land of the Canaanites and to Lebanon, as far as the great river, the Euphrates. See, I have given you this land. Go in and take possession of the land the Lord swore he would give to your fathers—to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob—and to their descendants after them.'"
I think that we've all had a Mount Horeb experience. We've been in a good place, a right, holy place, worshiping, and it's been good, but God has come in and said, "You've been at this mountain long enough, move, see the land that I'm giving you. Go and take possession of it."
It's one of those big life-change moments that are undeniably scary.
But like God told Moses and the Israelites, "Yeah, maybe the energy is scary, but I'm giving this to you. I've sworn it to you. Trust me, and they will fall by the wayside by the snap of my fingers."
Sure, there are a lot of unknowns, and it's terrifying. Fear of the unknown is inherent in the human condition, but what's vital is what we do with our fear. Do we fear the circumstances? Or do we fear God? Do we fear the storm? Or do we fear the one who calms storms? Fear goes one of two places: anxiety/control or trust. Sometimes, you cannot help but worry, but you can choose to respond to that fear in a redemptive way. Like the psalmist, cry out from the depths but do not try to control them. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. The fear of the storms is the beginning of chaos.
When we make a change in our initiative, that's when we can get into trouble. If you don't feel the Lord's calling to new beginnings, dwell faithfully where you are. But when God calls you to tackle the seemingly impossible, do not be afraid. Trust. He has gone ahead of you.
When Change is Sad
We've also established that change and seasons of transition can be sad. When viewing this change through the lens of a job, the difficulty in transition is especially true when your work focuses on people. There's a fear that the people you're in community with won't be cared for once we leave.
This is also true when a season of change is due to grief or loss. For example, someone or something of special value to your life has been removed, or the dynamics of a relationship have shifted. [READ MORE: Grief in Seasons of Joy]
How can we approach these situations to honor God when seasons of change deal in sadness?
Lament
You may feel heavy burdens for the community and population you're leaving behind. It's not uncommon to worry if someone will pick up the pieces you're leaving behind. Will the underserved population be treated well after I'm gone? Will the community I've helped create survive and continue to thrive? The last thing you want is for people to feel that someone else in their life has abandoned them.
This is also true for loss and grieving. How will your heart move forward? Is it even possible to heal? How do you begin to pick up the pieces left behind?
Part of experiencing this change is releasing control. It was God's before you got there, and it will be God's after you leave. It's important to remember that, and it will likely take a lot of work to understand and reckon with it.
This is the part of transition that requires us to admit sadness and grieve for what we're leaving. Tears are a monument to what matters. Heartbreak is your body's way of showing you that you care. So don't be afraid to lament, grieve, cry, and take it to God in times of change. Lay those burdens before Him, and He will move. It's not worth being stoic and just heading out. It's worth leaving with a full heart.
[READ MORE: Finding Courage in Grief]
Celebrate
While we should remain faithful until our final day, it's important to celebrate new beginnings. So we need to take time to honor that space.
Regarding loss, celebration is an opportunity to honor what we had. It's a chance to give glory to God for the wonderful. As mentioned earlier, what was lost was God's before, and you are still God's after the loss. Where your paths crossed was all part of the master chess plan that God has for your life. No move was made by mistake, and many seeds were planted along the way.
Celebration may not always be entirely up to the person leaving and may be left solely to those being left behind. For those who your work has blessed, allow them the opportunity to celebrate the work you've done and the change you're moving into. Doing so allows for a monumental celebration and affirmation for the parties involved. This may be the blessing needed to release the burden of leaving.
When Change Is Exciting
As mentioned earlier, not all change is unrequited. Sometimes it can be warmly, and even excitedly, received. This can be true in many situations, such as leaving something less than wonderful or beginning a new job.
When dealing with this, the desire to move into change can be overwhelming. However, when change arrives, how do you honor a time of transition?
How Do You Finish Well?
You are responsible for your calling until your job is fulfilled on your final day.
Don't forget that the Lord has put you in that place from the beginning. There's a reason you've been there. So if He's called you into that place and out of it, don't give up at the finish line.
In addition to entering change, God is preparing a way for you as you exit. To honor His trajectory for your life and the people you've encountered along the way, be intentional in fulfilling your duties and commitments.
Answering the Call to Change
The call of Jesus is not easy, and He never pretended it would be. But it's a worthwhile calling, and it's one that He never commanded us to walk alone. Buildings, people, and seasons come and go, but God never changes. His faithfulness remains.
The comfort we can take in change is that while we may not have the next ten steps figured out, He offers the peace that He will show us the next step. What you're giving up is nothing compared to the riches of a life with God.
That's the joy of the spiritual life. It's scary and hard, but it is the fulfillment of our desires. Every great story is scary. Think about every book or movie that you love. There's always a dragon, monster, or bad guy that threatens to end the world, but we love these stories because of the hero.
I don't want to live in a story where we play it safe. We may not know where we're going, but we can fully trust God. Or we can shrug off God and pursue our determinations. I want to live in the former story.
TL;DR
Change is something we all face, however it’s important to remember that we have not been abandoned.
How do we approach seasons of change?
Discernment
Timing
Trust
How do we handle sad change?
Lament
Celebrate
How do we handle exciting change?
Be intentional in fulfilling your duties and commitments.
The comfort we can take in change is that while we may not have the next ten steps figured out, God offers the peace that He will show us the next step.
Related Reading
Changing For the Better by Bro. Chris Carter
Grief in the Season of Joy by Rev. Jacky Gatliff
Four Reminders to Finding Courage by Bro. Chris Carter
About Christ Church Memphis
Christ Church Memphis is church in East Memphis, Tennessee. For more than 65 years, Christ Church has served the Memphis community. Every weekend, there are multiple worship opportunities including traditional, contemporary and blended services
