Caring For Ourselves When Caring For Others
Caregiving is often associated with tending to elderly family members. However, we cross paths with hurting and broken friends and family, perhaps daily. Tending to others requires our own dedication to our own spiritual and emotional health.
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”
What is Caregiving?
Caregiving requires the remarkable ability to selflessly love others without expecting anything in return. Mercy, compassion, and selfless love are not easy and nearly impossible to do with a righteous attitude. However, if we ask God to provide strength, joy, and courage, caregiving is more than possible.
During Jesus' ministry on earth, He told the religious leaders of the day, "I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” He was pointing out that the Pharisees were more concerned with following the letter of the Law than with living out its spirit and meaning.
Mercy is a prime factor in caregiving – seeing the need of another and providing for that need. As such, caregiving is absolutely biblical, and though the Bible never uses the word "caregiving" to describe selfless acts of love and mercy toward family members and friends, there is no doubt the Bible supports the giving of care.
As friends, wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, daughters, or sons, we have each been called to be caregivers. At first glance, caregiving may appear limited to caring for an ailing or elderly parent or friend. However, most of our lives cross paths with loved ones, or others, who need some level of nurturing, perhaps daily.
Therefore, it is helpful to consider the varying types of care required for the different people in our lives – each unique need calls upon a different degree of physical, emotional, and/or mental energy.
Why Should Caregivers Practice Self-Care?
Even if you are not caring for a person full-time, you may have little time for yourself. You may be coming home from work, cooking for your family, then heading to the nursing home to visit a friend or family member several times a week. You may be spending the weekend providing care so a full-time caregiver can get some rest.
Experiencing an array of emotions is not uncommon, whatever your direct care responsibilities might be. Taking care of another person's needs requires special commitment and attentiveness, and the well-being of the person being cared for depends directly on the caregiver's well-being.
“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?”
Self-care can so easily become the "next thing" that consumes us. However, through scripture, we can hopefully see through cultural expectations and rely on God's promises as we seek new ways to implement self-care and keep our focus on Him.
You may feel discouraged, frustrated, or trapped when you care for a loved one with an illness. You may be tired or overburdened. While there are many reasons for experiencing fatigue, the most common is not getting enough rest. You may put aside your own needs for rest, friends, and time alone to care for the person in need. If you have multiple responsibilities, as mentioned earlier—family, job, children—your needs have probably been significantly shortchanged.
It is essential – both for you and the person being cared for – to take time to rest and to do some things just for you. What are some special, easily accessible "gifts" you may give yourself to rejuvenate your spirit, improve sleep, clear your mind, refresh your body, and touch your heart?
Four Steps to Practice Self Care
1) Prayer
Start your day in devotion and prayer to our heavenly Father. Lay your concerns, praises, and desires at his feet. He is your refuge for protection, your pillar for strength, your source for endurance. Our Prayer Request page allows you to confidentially ask for specific prayer by Christ Church's prayer team here.
2) Fitness
Make time to experiment with regular exercise, and revel in the amazing benefits of oxygen to your brain and body. Exercise improves mood, boosts energy, and promotes better sleep. At Christ Church, we also offer convenient and accessible fitness options.
3) Counsel
Seek wise and qualified counsel to discuss the many emotions you may be experiencing, such as sadness, guilt, joy, embarrassment, gratefulness, anger, grief, love, and worry. Also, relationships can be strained during times of intense caregiving. Therefore, having an objective, professional perspective may be essential. For more information about Care Ministries Counseling & Assessment resources:
4) Connect
Strive to connect with special friends as often as possible to break from your daily duties and routine. You may consider a support group or a bible study. This will give you a sense of belonging and purpose, reduce stress, and provide you with something to look forward to.
Special Caregiver Luncheon
The Care Ministries staff wants to know who you are and how we can walk alongside you in your journey. So join us for a special Caregiver Luncheon, and meet and fellowship with others who are providing care to a loved one. Supportive resources will be available, including a special gift -- a devotion book for your caregiving journey.
We hope to see you there! To make a reservation, go to: Caregiver Connection Luncheon
TL;DR
While there are many reasons for experiencing fatigue, the most common is not getting enough rest.
It is essential – both for you and the person being cared for – to take time to rest and to do some things just for you.
How to Practice Self-Care?
Prayer
Fitness
Counsel
Connect
Related Reading
Jesus Weeps With Us by Rev. Jacky Gatliff
How to Sabbath (4 Tips for a Day Off) by William Merriman
Rest Is A Weapon by Rev. Paul Lawler
About Christ Church Memphis
Christ Church Memphis is church in East Memphis, Tennessee. For more than 65 years, Christ Church has served the Memphis community. Every weekend, there are multiple worship opportunities including traditional, contemporary and blended services